Ever noticed how saying “I’m chill” with zero emotion is a rite of passage for boys? Or how showing too much emotion means admitting you’re “weak”? However, seeming unbothered is not individual to each man’s personality, but rather an overall expectation. An expectation to always seem fine. An expectation to never show emotions. This is part of a larger issue of toxic masculinity, which causes more harm than people realize.
Toxic masculinity refers to a set of norms and expectations that pressure men to partake in specific behaviors, such as emotional stoicism (the deliberate suppression of emotions), dominance, and self-reliability. Phrases like “man up” or “real men don’t cry” reflect these norms, which discourage emotional expression and vulnerability. The belief that men must avoid showing weakness, fear, or sadness limits their ability to show a range of emotions, enforcing the idea that strength is about suppressing emotions. These beliefs promote unhealthy behaviors that can lead to serious consequences, such as chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and the deterioration of personal relationships. Over time, these pressures can impact both personal well-being and relationships leading to a cycle of emotional turmoil harming them and those around them. The implications of toxic masculinity make it hard to form trusting relationships by causing ongoing conflicts and misunderstandings that hurt your overall happiness.
The effects of toxic masculinity are present in various mental health studies. The American Psychological Association has shown that men who stick strictly to traditional masculine norms are more likely to experience issues such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. In addition, a study published by the American Journal of Men’s Mental Health found that men who suppress emotions and avoid seeking help are at a higher risk for developing mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and other damaging issues. They are often less likely to reach out to friends, family or professionals when support is needed, which further intensifies their struggles. In addition to that, in certain cultures, men are often looked down on, especially when performing tasks that women are “supposed to do.” Doing things like cooking or cleaning can make them lose respect, further adding to the prevalence of toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity also affects relationships. Studies have shown that men who strongly conform to traditional masculine standards report higher levels of loneliness, and many struggle to open up about their feelings. The inability to express emotions can be especially damaging in romantic relationships. When men feel pressured to remain emotionally distant, it can create a barrier between them and their partners. Without open communication, conflicts can go unresolved, and relationships can suffer. Over time this can lead to frustration, disconnection, and the deterioration of relations.
Some may argue that the act of remaining calm and composed is a sign of strength and that staying “chill” is an important part of managing your emotions. The idea that men need to stay emotionally detached is doing more harm than good, not only for them but for the people they are around every day. Bottling up emotions does not make them go away, but instead, leads to stress, anxiety, and deeper mental health struggles. Strength is not about pretending nothing bothers you, it is about being honest with yourself and others. Acknowledging emotions and asking for help takes more courage than ignoring them. Strength is never about hiding the feelings that you have, it is about having the courage to face them and share them with others.