We’ve all seen it happen before: in the hallway, the classroom, the junior lounge or even at the construction site. The event is carefully planned for days, even down to flowers in the girl’s favorite color. The boy, clearly nervous, performs his skit or dance as a crowd watching the moment grows in size. Bouquet in hand, he anxiously asks the big question, “Will you go to Homecoming with me?” and everyone waits in anticipation.

But what happens if she says “no”?

Asking week is an incredibly exciting week at Jefferson, where students plan creative askings, and try to go bigger and better every year. However, whenever a girl rejects an asking, she is immediately dubbed as “cold-hearted” or “cruel.”

But why does the fact that she just doesn’t want to go with that boy make her a bad person? It’s her choice in the first place.

Asking someone to Homecoming takes bravery but rejecting someone also takes the same amount of bravery. It seems like the more elaborate the asking, the more pressure the girl faces to say “yes.” She’s practically forced to go just due to the mere scale of the asking.

Of course, it is disappointing to be rejected after pouring in the time, money and effort for the perfect asking, but don’t blame the girl. It’s not her fault. If the boy chooses who he gets to ask, then the girl also gets to choose who she goes with.

Sometimes, there’s a good reason to her rejection—maybe she has already been asked, has a boyfriend, isn’t allowed to go or just doesn’t want to accept flowers that have already been rejected. But other times, there’s no reason given at all and it’s important to remember that Homecoming can still be fun with friends, even without that specific person as a date.

In fact, if she’s coerced to say “yes” just because of the magnitude of the asking, she might not be have fun at Homecoming. It could be better to be rejected and go with a group of friends rather than go with a reluctant date who spends the night hiding in the bathroom.

So ladies, if you’re weren’t feeling the Homecoming vibe, don’t be ashamed for saying “no.” You have the right to.

Read the boy’s perspective on Homecoming askings here!